ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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