so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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