im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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