I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
