Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
