even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
