I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
