I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
