we're blogging at a bar
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
