Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
