My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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