Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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