i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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