I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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