I think I am morally bankrupt
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
