maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
