Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize