Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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