Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
