Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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