bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Actions speak louder than pants.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
