Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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