the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
