he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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