i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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