i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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