You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I want her autograph on my taint
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
