fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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