we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
accomplished twins. life is a go
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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