just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
