hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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