I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
