she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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