Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize