I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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