NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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