some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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