There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
