You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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