I'm really into asian looking animals
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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