Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
