Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize