Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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