Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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