you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
