y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
