I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
True college students do jello shots in the library
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