So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
