I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
