just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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