how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
