Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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