Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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