So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
