Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
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I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just puked most of my soul out..
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