he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
