She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You peed on a flamingo?!?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
