we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This toilet bowl is my home.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
