Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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