conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
