kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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