I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
