maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
