anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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