You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize